No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
