Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize
