Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
