i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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