Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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