90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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