so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
