I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
