Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
wow bdsm is so cute
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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