ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
