Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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