Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
