I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize