This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
