1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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