after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
