she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
