someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize