How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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