Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
