i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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