guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
