like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
