U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
