i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize