Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
