man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
