what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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