Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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