I wannas sexs uuuuu
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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