I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
