I'm drive I can fine osifer
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
