So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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