yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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