just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
tell me about the eggs
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
