My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
