That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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