I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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