I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize