My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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