I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
