yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Is it because I queefed?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
