and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
