so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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