you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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