we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
