He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
