every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
