So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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