So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
