so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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