i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish you could order shots online.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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