Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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