just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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