sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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