STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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