I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
