he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
