How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
