He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
