and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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