thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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