He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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