franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
