Life is so much better after having sex.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize