He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
